Soul 2 Soul Life Coaching
I have been a mother for over 23 years. I can honestly say I’ve done my very best to be a good mother to my three sons. I am far from being a perfect parent – I admit to being a yeller – but I don’t think I could have cared or loved more, or tried harder to be what they needed, individually and as a family group. Raising boys is difficult. Raising boys of color in America is more difficult. Raising boys in a blended family is uber difficult. I have never stepped away from those challenges and it has made me a stronger and more compassionate human being.
Generally my expectations for Mother’s Day have been about what was going to be done for me. I do much for my family. I am the poster child for giving and being what my mother-in-law used to jokingly call “the serving wench.” So, on this one day set aside for us moms, I thought it would be great if I could be the one waited on and taken care of. Flowers, breakfast in bed, the kids making dinner…I was thinking like a Hallmark card commercial. This morning, however, I woke with very changed expectations. I have chosen going forward to expect two things: 1) That, in honor of me being the best parent I know how to be, I will do something to make myself happy on Mother’s Day, and 2) that what I want most is whatever is in the heart of my children and husband to give – and that whatever that is, is okay.
After years of unfulfilled birthday expectations, last year I decided to take matters into my own hands and take myself on an all-day date. I had an awesome day that started before 6 AM and ended after 10 PM. I cruised to Catalina, I went to a play, I had dinner at my all-time favorite spot, and I indulged in a little pastry therapy instead of birthday cake. It was an introspective and uplifting day.
Why could I not apply that same self-care to Mother’s Day? I am not an especially high-maintenance woman. I rarely wear make-up and most days would probably choose Chuck Taylor’s over stilettos, but on Mother’s Day, I figured I should try to look my best because it makes me feel good. So, I took special care in styling my hair and I put on a flattering dress and my favorite boots. If I do say so myself, I look smashing! I have no plans to go anywhere (except to the laundromat since my washer is busted) but there’s no law that says you can’t be cute while doing laundry, right?
So, my challenge to all you moms out there is to do something really nice for yourself today. Whatever that is to you, do it! If it’s getting your nails done, watching a favorite movie, cooking your favorite dish (instead of what your family likes) or doing absolutely nothing, give yourself permission to enjoy it!
Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful moms I know. If you’ve ever mothered someone (your offspring or not) this means you. To the adoptive moms, the foster moms, the grandmothers, the aunts, the friend’s mom who listens, the caring teachers, the kind neighbors, and all of you who have made a difference in the life of a child, God bless you and thank you for being a mom. To the moms like mine who are watching from above, thank you for the teaching and the wisdom you shared during your time here. We remember, we miss you, and we love you still.
Peace and blessings to you. May you be soul to soul with someone today.