What Now?

criticism-clipart-questioning_duoI am a newer life coach in the process of building my business, so keeping a 9-to-5 is crucial to the financial well-being of my family, at least for now. Because I work for a religious organization, I don’t receive the kinds of benefits I would if I still worked in corporate America. As much as there are things about my job I don’t want to give up (flexibility, my own office, autonomy, etc.), I know I need to find something that’s going to do a better job of taking care of my needs. So, here’s my conundrum: I don’t want another job like the one I have. So, what now??

I am 95% creative spirit and 5% administrative cog. Unfortunately, it is way easier to find an administrative than creative job at my (advanced!) age, and after all these years, I’m good at it. I am experienced. I know what I’m doing. I have a plethora of common sense. I am very knowledgeable about the ins and outs of doing what I do. Problem is, I have no passion for it any more.

My gift is for counseling and life coaching. The reason I’m good at that is because I know how to get out of the way and let the Spirit take the lead (“Jesus, take the wheel!” LOL) Also, in my heart of hearts, I am a writer. My daydreams are filled with visions of the printed page. Seriously. I am a total word junkie. They should have a 12-step program for people like me. Now that I think about it, I have more word related apps on my phone than I would consider normal. My iPhone is filled with apps for crossword puzzles, word games, books, newspapers, a dictionary, languages, a translator and a Bible app that I use for comparing and contrasting various versions. I’ve got it bad!

I have so many words in my head that need to make it onto paper, but the only thing I’m more passionate about than writing and mentoring, is being a good parent. Part of that is being a provider, right? So, work I must. What does that mean for the creative spirit trapped in the administrative office? What now, people? What now? I’ll tell you what now:

For now, I will keep working and keep writing. I will do what I have to for as long as I have to, but these two parts of my life will have to coexist until my passion can make mortgage payments and buy groceries. I will keep volunteering because its a lot easier to do what you are called to do when you’re not asking to be paid. I get to write (I’m corresponding secretary and marketing chair for a local non-profit), and I get to coach and counsel (I volunteer with young people and do some public speaking engagements for youth and women’s groups). What great opportunities to grow and gain knowledge about myself and my gifts!

It is my job as a life coach to help people find their passion and purpose in life. I am trained on how to get to those truths and help individuals sculpt that information into a life path. Lives don’t transition over night, but knowing is fundamental to doing. Doing is fundamental to growth, and that leads to change.

What now? Make little changes you can sustain. Be mindful about why you make the choices you make.  Be open to opportunities to use your gifts. Be fully present for the “what now” in your daily life.

Peace and blessings to you. May you be soul to soul with someone today.



Mother’s Day

Soul 2 Soul Life Coaching

Mother’s Day

I have been a mother for over 23 years. I can honestly say I’ve done my very best to be a good mother to my three sons. I am far from being a perfect parent – I admit to being a yeller – but I don’t think I could have cared or loved more, or tried harder to be what they needed, individually and as a family group. Raising boys is difficult. Raising boys of color in America is more difficult. Raising boys in a blended family is uber difficult. I have never stepped away from those challenges and it has made me a stronger and more compassionate human being.

Generally my expectations for Mother’s Day have been about what was going to be done for me. I do much for my family. I am the poster child for giving and being what my mother-in-law used to jokingly call “the serving wench.” So, on this one day set aside for us moms, I thought it would be great if I could be the one waited on and taken care of. Flowers, breakfast in bed, the kids making dinner…I was thinking like a Hallmark card commercial. This morning, however, I woke with very changed expectations. I have chosen going forward to expect two things: 1) That, in honor of me being the best parent I know how to be, I will do something to make myself happy on Mother’s Day, and 2) that what I want most is whatever is in the heart of my children and husband to give – and that whatever that is, is okay.

After years of unfulfilled birthday expectations, last year I decided to take matters into my own hands and take myself on an all-day date. I had an awesome day that started before 6 AM and ended after 10 PM. I cruised to Catalina, I went to a play, I had dinner at my all-time favorite spot, and I indulged in a little pastry therapy instead of birthday cake. It was an introspective and uplifting day.

Why could I not apply that same self-care to Mother’s Day? I am not an especially high-maintenance woman. I rarely wear make-up and most days would probably choose Chuck Taylor’s over stilettos, but on Mother’s Day, I figured I should try to look my best because it makes me feel good. So, I took special care in styling my hair and I put on a flattering dress and my favorite boots. If I do say so myself, I look smashing! I have no plans to go anywhere (except to the laundromat since my washer is busted) but there’s no law that says you can’t be cute while doing laundry, right?

So, my challenge to all you moms out there is to do something really nice for yourself today. Whatever that is to you, do it! If it’s getting your nails done, watching a favorite movie, cooking your favorite dish (instead of what your family likes) or doing absolutely nothing, give yourself permission to enjoy it!

Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful moms I know. If you’ve ever mothered someone (your offspring or not) this means you. To the adoptive moms, the foster moms, the grandmothers, the aunts, the friend’s mom who listens, the caring teachers, the kind neighbors, and all of you who have made a difference in the life of a child, God bless you and thank you for being a mom. To the moms like mine who are watching from above, thank you for the teaching and the wisdom you shared during your time here. We remember, we miss you, and we love you still.

Peace and blessings to you. May you be soul to soul with someone today.